There is this girl I know. She is a very quiet, shy and unassuming person. A dreamer. You are more likely to find her sitting in a corner absorbed in a book or lost inside her own head than anywhere else.
She does her best to fade into the background and, for the most part, she would rather everyone just leave her be.
This girl is very dear to me because she is me, or at least, she is who I used to be.
She is the girl my husband fell in love with eleven or so years ago.
Then she became a mommy and slowly faded away. Reality set in and suddenly she had to become a GrownUp.
Motherhood changes us in very drastic ways. The moment you become a mother the world tilts on it's axis. When you realise that, for the rest of his/her life, this little person is going to rely on you for just about everything - the planet seems to shift.
And some mothers take to motherhood like ducks to water. But for the rest of us, the ones who would rather stay in our corners, who prefer to be lost in our thoughts for hours on end, motherhood is huge adjustment.
For me, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The hardest journey I've ever had to take and one I'm still on. It was and still is a stretching experience. It's as though I've had to grow beyond my own skin, become more than I've ever thought was possible. Do more than I ever thought I was capable of doing.
I haven't accomplished very many of my dreams, and being that little dreamer there were many of them.
But my children...
They are my life, my reason for getting up every morning (and unfortunately at unreasonable hours of the night).
I wouldn't change anything, not even the hard years because they have made me who I am today.
Stronger.
That girl is still inside me somewhere. She pokes her head out in quiet moments, or when she is with people she trusts. And it's when she does that I realise just how blessed I am to have the life that I have.
To have married the man that I did.
And I realise the treasures my children are.
Sunday is mother's day. I know many ladies who are fantastic mothers and several of them have walked alongside me in various maternal capacities. Quite a few of them have had a positive and dramatic influence on the way I mother my own children. I wish you all a fantastic day and I hope you all know how much I love you.
