And so, those of you who know me on facebook may have noticed that, at some point, in the last few weeks I disappeared. It's true, in a sense I did and there are reasons for it.
Through a series of circumstances I've come to a point where I have had to examine my life, my time management skills (non-existent) and my priorities. This may all sound like a good thing, but it really wasn't, being very honest with oneself is rarely fun or enjoyable.
But my realisation was this: I spent up to six hours a day on facebook and various other apps and sites talking to people (yes, you can read stalking people if you like) and what this meant was that for that period of time I wasn't living in any sense of immediate reality. I was distracted from life in general and largely inaccessible to those around me.
I have three kids who deserve to be at the top of my list of priorities. A house to clean. And a marriage that, I admit, really needed some work!
I was a social media junkie using the internet as a distraction from reality. I was hiding from life by creating a world I could control.
How is that for total honesty?
And so, I committed to a month away from facebook and twitter. I deleted all apps from my phone that enabled that sort of connectivity. Except for email, seriously, I wasn't going back to snail mail. That would have put me in 'lock-up-the-crazy-woman' territory. And Pinterest.
I wanted to see what my life would look like without the crutches.
To be honest, it's boring.
I miss seeing what is happening in other people's lives, sharing snippets of my own and reading responses. I miss chatting to people. I miss supporting people and being supported. Heck, it's hard!
But I've got to admit, it's been worth it. I feel as though I'm in a healthier place for it. My kids are getting more of my attention. I actually have conversations with Pieter that don't just revolve around the logistics of existing under the same roof.
I've resolved unresolved issues in my life.
I don't know if I will go back onto facebook. The lure is that, for many of my friends, it is the only form of communication we have. And I do miss them. I have just under two weeks left of my self-imposed fast and I am committed to sticking it out. I'm guessing that, if my perspective on life in general has changed this drastically in such a short period of time, there may be more changes to come.
And, darn it! I'm pretty sure they all have my email...