Sunday 31 October 2010

Conversations with a Gullible Toddler


I had an interesting conversation with The Frog the other night. And made sure to transcribe it - you forget these things as the years go by...

I was just relaxing back into a hot bath when my hopes for some peace and quiet were pulverized by this one little sentence:

The Frog: MOM! WHERE ARE YOU???

I stay very very quiet.

The Frog: MOM!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

The Man: She's in the bath!

(Thanks love)

The Frog - at the door: Mom, you in there?

I ignore it in a last desperate attempt at regaining that peace and quiet...

The Frog: Mom, you in there?

And this is where I had my diabolical idea.

Me: No...

The Frog: Where are you?

Me: At the library.

The Frog: At the library? (why-bweh-wee...?)

Me: Yes, my darling.

The Frog: At the library?


(He repeats himself while he is thinking of his next sentence...)

Me: Yes my darling...

The Frog: At the library?

Me: YES, my darling!

The Frog: Where is the library?

Me: Far away.

The Frog: Across the road?

Me: Yes, across the road.

The Frog: Be careful of the cars!

Me: Ok, baby.

The Frog: And stop at the red light!

Me: Yes, sweetheart.

The Frog: And go when it's green.

Me: Clever boy!


(By now I'm enjoying the entertainment.)

The Frog: You going to the Library?

Me: Yes, my sweetheart.

The Frog: With the fishies?


(Our library has a pretty cool tank of goldfish)

Me: Yes...

The Frog: And the dancing? (Dancing)

Me: And the dancing...

The Frog hears the water in the bath...

The Frog: Mom, you in the bath?

Me: No.

The Frog: Who is in there?

Me: A monster. (Bad mommy! BAD mommy!)

The Frog: A monster? (You can hear the anxiety in his voice...)

Me: Yes, a monster

The Frog: I'm scared!

Me: Don't worry, when I pull the plug out it will go down the drain.

The Frog: It will go down the drain?

Me: Yes baby.

The Frog: Ok...

Kids are so gullible.

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